Q. I am a concierge for a high-net-worth individual. She likes to communicate with me mainly via WhatsApp voice messages and it’s not unusual to receive ten of these a day. The messages are often lengthy and I find it tedious having to listen carefully right to the end in case I miss some vital instruction. For example, she might be talking about the dinner she went to the night before but embedded within her ramblings could be: ‘By the way, could you get the plumber back urgently to the London flat – water is leaking from the basin in my bathroom.’ How can I tactfully ask her to waste less of my time?
– J.L., London SW11
A. You mustn’t. She is paying you to make things easier for her and if she enjoys rambling about her life, it’s your role to be interested rather than resentful. However, were you to download a transcriptor for WhatsApp you would find that reading a message takes, on average, a quarter of the time it takes to listen to. You could even print the messages out and highlight the necessary actions to ensure you are super-efficient.
Q. I will shortly be attending a house party abroad and my host has informed me that a fellow guest will be on the same early flight. He has shared their contact and suggested we liaise for taxis on arrival. My problem is that I am always dishevelled and stressed at airports and will be in no mood to engage in pleasantries at five in the morning. I fear that contacting him in advance might result in our meeting up on the Stansted Express and therefore the hours of forced company would mean we would surely have exhausted all conversational topics before we even arrive. I do not want to appear rude or standoffish, though, by not making contact.
– H.F., London SW7
A. Your fellow guest almost certainly feels the same. Most travellers value private time at airports for the purchase of forgotten items and the sending of last-minute emails. Once you are sitting on the plane, send a friendly text saying you look forward to meeting them and sharing a taxi when you land. In this way you can preserve your conversational battery.
Q. A friend always manages to leave something behind when she comes to stay. She seems to feel no guilt when she asks me to post whatever it is back to her and never offers to pay postage. – H.S., Winchester, Hants
A. Next time you might prompt her empathy as she departs by saying, affectionately: ‘Don’t bother leaving a tip. Just give me the cash and I will use it to pay for the postage of whatever you’ve left behind this time!’
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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