Q. I have a very dear friend who lives in Scotland, so we rarely see each other. Before the internet existed, we would call each other on the landline two or three times a year for a pleasant catch-up, and meet sporadically. However, since the onslaught of social media, my friend has taken to sending several WhatsApps per day, almost always saying things like ‘How is your day going?’, adding a few banal details of the current weather in the Highlands or what she plans to bake that day. I feel guilty if I don’t reply at all, so find myself sending pleasantries back, even though I am feeling very irritated by the constant interruptions. I can’t think how to rectify this without offending her. Any advice, Mary?
— G.J., Cheshire
A. Message your friend to say that your phone has informed you how many hours you are spending online each week. You are horrified to think how much of her time you must have been wasting! You must apologise and can reassure her that from now on you will not be blizzarding her with banalities and running commentaries on your day. This will free up time for both of you to tackle more useful things.
Q. We have moved, for work, away from Gloucestershire, where we knew everyone, to Lincolnshire, where we don’t seem to know anyone. Help! How can we find like-minded new friends?
— Name and address withheld
A. Since your longer letter reveals you are a member of Radio H-P, why not recruit potential friends with a post offering, for example, free beech saplings or similar to anyone local who would like to collect. This could serve as a type of social speed dating, as you will undoubtedly have a conversational exchange with whoever turns up and be able to get the measure of them.
Q. I am going on my gap year to Australia and have arranged to stay for the first week with my godmother’s daughter. Now my godmother has asked me to carry with me some things she wants to send over to her daughter. Because these items are so big I am going to have to pay for an extra suitcase in the hold. How can I tactfully ask my godmother to pay this extra charge (£65)?
— E.A.F., London SW18
A. Don’t even think of asking. You will be eating at least £65 worth of food while staying with this host in Australia, to say nothing of sparing yourself around £500 for a week’s accommodation. Buy a cheap holdall for the sole purpose of accommodating your godmother’s presents for her daughter. Hand the holdall over on arrival and pleasantly insist that she keeps the bag as well, as you only bought it to accommodate her presents.
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