Q. My twins’ birthday is coming up, but we will be in the country. Their godparents are usually punctilious, but will send things to the London address. How do I let them know that we will be away, without sounding like I’m expecting them to send presents?
– P.W., London NW1
A. Ask them to lunch shortly before you go away. The subject of your imminent departure for the country will naturally come up at the lunch. If they can’t come, say: ‘Oh well, I would ask you the following week but we will be away in the country.’
Q. My husband and I recently went on a ten-day cruise, hoping to spend time together without too many social interruptions. On one of the excursions we met a delightful Canadian couple who suggested we meet up for dinner that night, which we were happy to do, thinking it was a one-off. We enjoyed their company, but when they suggested we continue to have dinner together for the rest of the cruise, we could not think of a reasonable excuse not to. We are keen to go on more cruises but can envisage falling into this trap again. Any ideas, Mary?
– G.H., Truro, Cornwall
A. Make sure that at the end of your first dinner you look around brightly and say to your companions: ‘Now who do you think you’ll have dinner with tomorrow? I gather it’s bad form to have dinner with the same people each night. Too cliquey. But perhaps we can get away with it again on the last night since we’ve had such fun?’
Q. I have a lovely, efficient cleaner who I recommended to friends of a friend in April. She has since been working for them two days a week and they are definitely pleased with her. However, they have told her that they are off for a trip for eight weeks and that there will be ‘no need’ for her to work while they are away. They have not offered any kind of retainer. I have heard that these people are rather ‘careful’ , despite being very well off. My cleaner has bills to pay but obviously cannot magic up eight weeks of other work. How do I tactfully suggest they can’t leave her in the lurch without seeming too interfering?
– L.K., London SW14
A. Suggest nothing except that your cleaner tender her resignation. People lacking empathy to this degree do not deserve the privilege of employing an efficient cleaner – they are very thin on the ground and you will easily find some substitute work for her. Incidentally every UK worker is entitled to 5.6 weeks paid holiday per annum. Even those who pay their cleaners under the counter should think through their obligations re. holiday pay.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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