Dear Mary: How do we explain being in Jeffrey Epstein’s little black book?

Q. We often have friends coming to stay before (and after) we all head off for Glyndebourne, a 20-minute drive away. What is the etiquette governing who should drive? It has drinking ramifications of course. Then, what is the etiquette of the seating plan in the car?
— A.W., Lindfield, Sussex

A. Assertive forward-planning is called for. Communicate to your guests that you are looking forward to seeing them, beds are made up, flowers in the room, etc.
And will they want to drink at Glyndebourne? No problem. But you are just planning ahead and if it turns out everyone wants to drink then you will have to draw straws before setting off. Sobriety could impede enjoyment for many, so at this point guests need to say if they don’t want to be balloted into the draw. In which case they should offer to pay for taxis at least one way. Regarding who sits where — the men should naturally sit in the front because of their longer legs. They should enquire, first, however, whether anyone else has special needs regarding car sickness.

Q. Neither my husband nor I had ever met Jeffrey Epstein but a version of his Little Black Book has been circulating online and our names are on it. We have no idea why. We find it annoying when people we hardly know ask us about him at parties in semi-accusatory tones. How should we handle this without appearing to be ‘protesting too much’?
— Names and address withheld

A. Answer calmly: ‘We were puzzled to see our names on there as Epstein never met us. But now we’ve been told that he didn’t know everyone on the list — some were people he just wanted to get to know for prestige reasons.