Mary Killen Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How do we get our friends to pay for the carpet they ruined?

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Q. We have had some rather rich Argentines to stay. No one was able to come in to help before or during their visit so I was exhausted looking after them, making their beds, cooking, quietly washing up etc. Consequently, when I went into their room and found they had left a £250 tip for my cleaner (who had done nothing), I decided I would keep the lion’s share. I left £20 for the cleaner, which she was absolutely thrilled with. Now my husband, to whom I had not confessed, tells me she asked him for the Argentines’ address so she could write to thank them for the £20. There is now a letter on its way over and I need urgent help to avoid huge embarrassment.

— Name and address withheld

A. Email the Argentines immediately to thank them for leaving such a generous sum. Gush that their magnanimity allowed you to distribute tips between all the hidden hands who had worked so hard to make their stay comfortable.

Q. Very good friends often come to visit us in London. A few weeks ago one of them accidentally kicked over a full cup of black tea on to the pale carpet in their bedroom. When it became clear that the stain would never come out, they insisted they would pay for a new carpet. We eventually came to an agreement to go halves as I felt uncomfortable with their offer. They have now written, thanking us profusely for the weekend, but have made no mention of the carpet incident, despite a nudge from us during a WhatsApp conversation. Mary, we can ill afford to pay for the entire cost of a new carpet. What should we do?

— B.S.,

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