Dear Mary: my pool guests are outstaying their welcome

Q. A close friend, who has lost most of her income in recent years, has done something disfiguring to a front tooth – it looks as if she’s used Polyfilla to repair it herself. She tries to never smile so no one will see, but sadly it is highly visible. I’d be happy to pay for a dentist for her but she is proud and would hate me to patronise her.

– Name and address withheld

A. Collude with your own dentist. If the dentist is the right sort, you may be able to spin your friend a yarn – for example that, for the purposes of teaching junior dentists, your dentist, who has become a bit of a friend, has asked you to look out for a volunteer patient on whom to demonstrate reconstructive surgery. In this way you could coax your friend into the chair, where all necessary treatment can be performed as though she is doing a favour to the dentist – secretly paid for by you.

Q. Re the art of turning: at a recent (seated) dinner party, many people were turning in wrong directions, some talking in groups of three (usually a sign of someone not turning). Mary, please advise what to do as a host so that every guest gets their fair share of attention. I have tried asking a guest to turn to a neglected neighbour only to be told that his conversation was being interrupted.

– Name and address withheld

A. It is a sign of a successful party if dinner guests are talking in clusters of three but only if neighbours on the peripheries of these clusters are not left staring ahead like spare parts. As host, you need to keep an eagle eye out for this and go directly to the culprit, saying, for instance, ‘James.