Dear Mary: My teenager insists on an NHS operation. What can I do?

Q. Our son, aged l6, has a medical condition which, although not life-threatening, requires surgery by a specialist to pre-empt it becoming lifestyle-threatening. The NHS waiting list is long. He has had private health insurance since birth and never yet used it but he refuses to jump the queue as he disapproves of ‘elitism and privilege’. We’ve explained that by taking up his right to go privately he would help another young man with the same condition move more quickly up the NHS list but to no avail. While we admire his ethical aspirations, my wife is having sleepless nights.
— N.G., London SW1

A. First find a surgeon who performs the operation both privately and on the NHS. Many private surgeries are carried out in NHS hospitals and, unless the boy is an experienced inpatient, there is no reason why he should be any the wiser as to whether his treatment has been private or NHS. You should take this pro-bono step behind his back because, admirable though his intentions may be, an ethical stance based on half-bakedness should not be indulged.  

Q. What to do when you have sent out invitations with the wrong stamps on them? I have just sent out 70, mainly to Kent locals, to a fund-raising evening on 17 May in my own house in aid of the excellent charity Beanstalk. I am devoted to Beanstalk, which sends volunteers into primary school to help children who have fallen behind with their reading. Emerald O’Hanrahan (from The Archers) will be reading from Jane Austen and there will be wine, snacks and a raffle. Unfortunately, however, standard stamps (now 53 pence for second class) were put on rather than large letter stamps (73 pence second class).