Dear Mary: should I have asked out my rush-hour crush?

Q. On a train journey the other day I sat opposite someone I found immensely attractive. We struck up a conversation and talked for 40 minutes until he left the train, a few stops before my own destination. I am 90 per cent sure he returned my feelings, but he was rather a shy man and we had talked for just too short a time to merit the exchange of contact details. Mary, I’m in despair but what could I have said, without seeming pushy, to ensure we could meet again?

— E.W., Exeter

A. When such a promising brief encounter occurs, swiftly taper the conversation to allow you to ask whether the love interest is familiar with… then name the most obscure book you can think of. When he replies no, say you happen to have a spare copy — he is more than welcome to it — as you have a strong feeling he would find it as interesting as you do. Ask him to quickly jot down his address so you can put it in the post. If he is interested, he will then have the means (via the card you enclose with your contact details) to take things further.

Q. For many years I have frequented an excellent small restaurant in central London where I have always been on good terms with the maitre d’. Now I have begun entertaining friends there again — but my problem is that the maitre d’ — who pre-lockdown always passed briefly by to exchange a few words — has now begun to hover at the table for so long that his presence can become disruptive. I know he is a good sort but I am at a loss as to how to put an end to this irritating development.