Q. My son’s new girlfriend is really sweet but my husband and I find it annoying how she puts her hand in front of her mouth when she’s eating. A friend has told me that a lot of that generation do it for some reason. Any clever ideas as to how we could stop her, Mary?
– Name withheld, Oxfordshire
A. Gen Z (aged 13-28) often instinctively cover their mouths when eating for fear of social media consequences if photographed. However, the habit must stop now the girl has entered civilised society. Enlist a compliant child, aged roughly six, to join you at the table and cover her own mouth when eating. When questioned by the grown-ups, the little girl can declare: ‘I’m copying “Lucy”!’ In this way you can open up a lighthearted discussion and supportively volunteer to help ‘Lucy’ get over the habit by some form of signalling in the future.
Q. A friend has kindly offered his London gallery space so that I can give my first ever big party. I have three twentysomething children whose best friends must be invited too. Even being ruthless I can’t get below 150 guests. I really want to speak to everyone – but without standing at a reception line. Is it possible?
– P.E., Norwich
A. Mimic the royal family’s technique by confecting eight-person horseshoe-shaped clusters of guests. On arrival each guest should be handed a card inviting them to stand in a certain place at a certain time. You will preempt recalcitrance by having clusters of people from different aspects of your life – e.g. family, school, Norfolk – who already know each other. You can save time by gushing the same all-purpose greeting and the same relevantly curated personal news. Your children can draw you away to the next waiting cluster when say, three minutes is up. In this way you can process everyone in 54 minutes.
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Q. One of my best friends from school is quite hard up. I never know whether or not to leave a tip for her imaginary daily when I go to stay. I don’t want to be patronising but I think £20 would come in handy for her. Any advice, Mary?
– H.S., Burford
A. If your friend knows that you know she doesn’t have a daily then it would be patronising. Instead bring useful house presents of the sort which are delightful to receive but will also save the host money. Try the Castello di Fonterutoli extra virgin olive oil from Petersham Cellars (£25). It features throughout Winter in Tuscany, the latest work of cookery writer Amber Guinness, who has found it reliably well received in all manner of households where she has stayed across Europe.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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