Q. We live in a harmonious and social community in Berkshire and early last year our fun-loving neighbours invited us to a New Year’s Eve party. However, on about 29 December they packed up and went away, only returning on New Year’s Day. We usually have a bracing walk in the afternoons and are bound to bump into them soon (they have small children who need to burn off energy). Should we mention the non-party or just put it down to forgetfulness?
– Name and address withheld
A. As you say, the invitation was issued early in the year and no doubt a lot of water went under the bridge in the intervening months. But the couple have still been irresponsible. Some people set great store by having an invitation for New Year’s Eve, and being cheated of the chance to celebrate socially can give them irrational but heartfelt gloom. The offenders need a mild rebuke. Next time you run into them, gush: ‘Happy new year! I know we had tentatively arranged to meet on New Year’s Eve but did you have a wonderful time wherever you went?’ Grin pleasantly while they answer.
Q. For his Christmas present, I gave a cousin a wonderful piece of 18th-century porcelain which I bought at auction. He has written a somewhat dismissive note to me, just thanking me for ‘the plate’. I sense he has no idea how generous I have been and wonder how I can communicate the ‘monetary value’ of my purchase without being crude about it?
– F.Z., Preston, Lancs
A. Send the receipt to your cousin with a note saying that, in case he needs it in the event of an insurance claim, he might like to keep it somewhere safe.
Q. I am currently WFB (Working from Barbados). I originally came for ten days but the weather has been doing its work and I have decided to stay on for the rest of January. The market I work in is quiet at this time of year and I’m confident that I can continue to do anything required of me from here with equal, if not greater, efficiency to my usual output. My question is: should I let it be known to friends and clients that I am spending the month here? While on the one hand it would surely convey the impression that I must be successful to be able to do so, might it also cause clients to reconsider my fees?
– A.W., St James, Barbados
A. On balance, it may be best not to mention that you are WFB as it will cause resentment in beta circles. Be careful to keep to UK business hours to disguise your whereabouts. If clients ask you directly where you are, admit to it, but be vague about the duration of your stay.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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