Q. We live in a harmonious and social community in Berkshire and early last year our fun-loving neighbours invited us to a New Year’s Eve party. However, on about 29 December they packed up and went away, only returning on New Year’s Day. We usually have a bracing walk in the afternoons and are bound to bump into them soon (they have small children who need to burn off energy). Should we mention the non-party or just put it down to forgetfulness?
– Name and address withheld
A. As you say, the invitation was issued early in the year and no doubt a lot of water went under the bridge in the intervening months. But the couple have still been irresponsible. Some people set great store by having an invitation for New Year’s Eve, and being cheated of the chance to celebrate socially can give them irrational but heartfelt gloom. The offenders need a mild rebuke. Next time you run into them, gush: ‘Happy new year! I know we had tentatively arranged to meet on New Year’s Eve but did you have a wonderful time wherever you went?’ Grin pleasantly while they answer.
Q. For his Christmas present, I gave a cousin a wonderful piece of 18th-century porcelain which I bought at auction. He has written a somewhat dismissive note to me, just thanking me for ‘the plate’. I sense he has no idea how generous I have been and wonder how I can communicate the ‘monetary value’ of my purchase without being crude about it?
– F.Z., Preston, Lancs
A. Send the receipt to your cousin with a note saying that, in case he needs it in the event of an insurance claim, he might like to keep it somewhere safe.
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