Q. We live in an area with no mobile reception and trying to get hold of taxis for guests leaving late at night or early morning after a party is nerve-racking. We have only two local taxi firms, both of which stop working after 10 p.m. When taxis from outside the area try to find the house, the signal drops as they near and they can’t find us. What do you suggest?
– A.E., Pewsey
A. Put a warning on your invitations that since taxis will be unable to find the house, guests should screenshot your enclosed map, send it as an aid to the taxi firm and agree a precise time for collection. However, as seasoned party-givers will know, many guests are too air-headed to take in such useful instructions. You might take a tip from another regular host, who lives in a signal-free area of East Sussex. She now books in (pre-paid) local youths to drive disorganised guests home to locations within 30 minutes, saying that ‘the cost to the host is not a huge amount compared with the cost of a party’.
Q. We are having a big party later in the year. My problem is that I currently dread other social events as tactless friends who have been invited mention the party in front of people I haven’t asked. How should I get out of this embarrassing situation?
– Name and address withheld
A. Say to those friends: ‘You mustn’t tell me any more. It’s meant to be a surprise for me!’
Q. My friendship group has reached that time in life when they don’t want ‘things’ as birthday presents as these will clutter up their homes. I am now at a loss to know what to take to birthday parties. Any ideas?
– J.L., Suffolk
A. Bulk-buy bottles of superior olive oil to take to birthday events. Considering the recent price hike, it will be gratefully received, and as it is consumable, it will not be a dust-gatherer.
Q. I have just been a holiday guest at a Scottish lodge. There were seven of us in various bedrooms but we all shared one bathroom. Could you advise the best procedure if one has to use the loo in the night: is it better to flush and risk waking up the lighter sleepers amongst the party – or not?
– S.H., London SW6
A. If number one is involved, people would rather rest undisturbed even at the risk of being confronted during the night by a lightly used loo. In the unlikely event of your needing to expel number two, you should deal with such a bio-hazard immediately and flush and be damned.
Write to Dear Mary at dearmary@spectator.co.uk
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