Dear Mary Dear Mary

Dear Mary: what do you do if you spill red wine on a sofa?

No matter how much you loved Boris you would find it maddening if he spilled red wine on your sofa.  And more so if he didn’t even make a gestural effort to clear it up.

But, like us all, Boris would have known from experience of the futility of trying to get red wine stains out of ‘soft furnishings ‘

We’ve all seen fellow party guests being humiliated after such spillages as bossy people set to with theatrical paper towel mopping or the pantomime of pouring white wine or whole packets of sea salt onto the stains.

And then we’ve seen that nothing seems to work.

Boris may have felt why make a small red stain into a larger pink one?

It’s in human nature to spill red wine. In one grand house I know the occupants have deliberately bought Persian rugs with red in them in anticipation of their guests kicking over wine.  ‘When Guests put their glasses of wine on the floor, it’s not just a 90% chance that they will get kicked over ….it’s 100%,’ the owner told me.

As for spilling onto a sofa, if the sofa in question has loose covers, then you have  a good chance to get the stain out but you must strip them off and put them into the washing machine with Vanish Gold (the only thing that gets red wine out).  But who wants to disrupt a social event and bring unwelcome sobriety to the occasion?

If you are the owner of an upholstered sofa, then you’ll have to start again. Buy a new one or put up with grotifying your premises with a throw over the sofa. Everyone knows what’s underneath.

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