Q. Our daughter is going ahead with her wedding despite the restriction on guest numbers. Although it is a relief not to have to worry about (and pay for) the 150 people originally expected, another problem arises when the numbers are so limited that guests cannot get away from each other. We want to have five tables of six at the reception, but many of our older guests hold unfashionable views and would be incapable of self-censorship. Looking at all possible variants of the seating plan, I can see no way of sidestepping some incendiary juxtapositions. Some of the young guests are especially intolerant of diversity of opinions, and I fear that the need to assert their moral identities might trump any instinct to let things pass for the sake of harmony at such an occasion. I am dreading a cultural car crash which would spoil the day. Mary, what should I do
— Name and address withheld
A. Why not turn the dilemma to your advantage by taking a light-hearted approach and allowing the guests to laugh at themselves? Dispense of the traditional table numbers and named places, and instead invite guests to seat themselves at tables labelled either ‘Woke’ or ‘Unwoke’. Woke guests will be more than happy for their table identity to do the work for them in signalling their goodness so they can sit back and enjoy being in the company of compatible others. Unwoke guests are usually equally proud of their own resistance to change and so harmony will reign.
Q. How do you stop virus-denying friends from wandering vaguely inside your house when they have been invited to lunch in your garden and have agreed to answer any necessary calls of nature there too? We are shielders and it is too much of a faff to keep locking and unlocking the door we need to ferry food and plates through.
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