Q. I appear in a reality television show — perhaps unreality would be a more accurate description. The erroneous impression that I am fabulously rich has been so well conveyed that, when having dinner with new acquaintances, I sense a certain anticipation that I will be happy to pick up the bill. Most of my peers are still students. How can I enjoy going to restaurants with them without being landed with the bill for six or eight people each time and without blowing my own cover?
—Name and address withheld
A. Continue to join peers in restaurants but carry a spare, out-of-battery telephone into whose blank screen you periodically stare with frustration. This prequel will validate your sudden decision to leave the table — perhaps near the end of the main course. Flinging down cash to the value of what you have consumed, plus a tenner for good measure, you may excuse yourself, saying you must go home to charge your telephone. Since you are on reality television, no one will think it odd that you need to keep in touch with your producers. Neither will they be surprised if you fail to rematerialise, but you keep your options open to rejoin the party later, once bills have been settled.
Q. I was relieved to see your answer (22 October) to the question about changing sheets, because I myself often don’t change the sheets after one tidy guest has slept in a bed for one night. But is this really all right? Some of my friends seem to regard it as rather slovenly.
—Name and address withheld
A. For ecological reasons, it is obviously better not to subject virtually pristine sheets to an unnecessary battering, but there is no set protocol.
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