Delusions

In Competition No. 2474 you were invited to supply, following the format and formula of Lewis Carroll’s ‘The Mad Gardener’s Song’, three stanzas which could aptly be titled ‘The Deluded Politician’.
This is my favourite Carroll poem. People often miss it because it comes not from the Alice books but from Sylvie and Bruno, much less read. Anyway, it sparked off probably the most enjoyable comp of the year, a delight and an agony to judge. The only minus factor was the general tendency to attach the delusions to the same man, our present Prime Minister. After all, there must be many politicians, here and abroad, who are equally out of touch with reality. I have pleasure in awarding the prizewinners, printed below, £25 each, and in handing the bonus fiver to W.J. Webster. A happy Christmas to you all.

Dave thought he’d make the party go
By standing on his head,
But those who’d stayed the right way up
Cried, ‘Look, he’s turning red!’
‘Well, upside down the view seems fine,’
He nonchalantly said.

He thought he’d steal the Emperor’s clothes
And wear them as his own,
But that revealed for all to see
A ringer but no Tone.
‘Just rub your eyes and watch,’ said he,
‘For all I have not shown.’

He thought he’d shoot a shibboleth
To mount upon the wall,
But though he used a Maxim gun
The beast refused to fall.
‘Ah, well,’ he said, ‘one day you’ll find
That I’m right after all.’
W.J. Webster

He thought he saw a baby deer
That gambolled on the grass;
He looked again and saw it was
A rocky mountain pass.
‘Oh dear,’ he said, ‘a tragedy!
Or possibly a farce?’

He thought he saw a present hope
For liberal-minded folk;
He looked again and saw it was
A bottle in the smoke.
‘Oh dear,’ he said, ‘I’m getting old —
I just can’t see the joke.