Am sleeping on the bunk bed at Dave and Sam’s. The atmosphere is v tense.
SUNDAY
Am sleeping on the bunk bed at Dave and Sam’s. The atmosphere is v tense. We don’t know when they will come for us, but we know they will come and when they do we have to be ready. Miliband wasn’t ready, and look what happened to him. They found contact lens boxes and tin cans — tin cans! No doubt he was too busy thinking about policy to have someone check what was going into his bin — well, that is not going to happen to us. When the Mail and the Mirror come rummaging we will not be found wanting. Oh no.
MONDAY
Jed chased me out of kitchen this morning for frightening the children. Godammit — one of them dropped a piece of rainforest into the Brabantia! OK, so it was in the form of a lollipop stick but that’s not what the headline’s going to say. Last night I found a plastic bottle top in the wheelie. Told Jed, if you’re not prepared to back me up, then I’m afraid I cannot guarantee 100 per cent immunity from a load of rubbish exposés. He just laughed and laughed, which goes to show that anyone can crack under pressure. Now he’s sending me back to base to work on the front-bench reshuffle. Which is a bit like recycling, only with less material you can re-use. Nigel says that Mr Redwood is cybernetic, and therefore not biodegradable.
TUESDAY
Hours to go until announcement, and we still can’t decide whether to create a new post of Shadow Minister for Love. Personally, I’m with Dave on this. If love really is the answer to youth crime, we must bring it into the jurisdiction of government.
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