Tamzin Lightwater

Diary of a Notting Hill Nobody | 24 January 2009

Tamzin Lightwater's unique take on the week

Sunday

Strange call from Gary. Wanted to know if I knew anything about meatloaf. I said no, not my taste in music but that wasn’t what he was after. Said he’d rung every single girl in the press office and no one knew how to cook it, or what was in it, apart from meat. So I was to go and get Mummy. They were chatting for ages. She said: ‘Oh yes, it’s definitely the sort of thing one might cook for that occasion… beef … yes, organic beef if you prefer… yes of course you can have my mobile number and ring me if you get any awkward questions… ’ She won’t say what’s going on and has, annoyingly, taken to calling herself ‘senior adviser to David Cameron’s director of communications’. This is typical of Mummy, muscling in on my act. It’s just like the time she entered Wibberley working hunter trials on Mr Badger and totally overshadowed me and Sesame by falling head-first into the water jump.

Monday

Great balls of fire! Now all the to-ing and fro-ing over the weekend makes sense! I went to bed early and woke up to a world full of Big Beasts. What with Mr Clarke and Mr Pickles, it’s hard to know which Clampdown on Obesity press release to shred first! Nigel says there’s no time for that. We’re to get straight on with ‘Euro Ops’, just like we rehearsed in training. Terrific reaction in the press, of course. And Mummy’s meatloaf went down a treat! One thing puzzles me — why did Gary ring for the recipe on Sunday? Surely they would have needed it a day earlier if they were going to serve it for Saturday lunch. It hardly matters.

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