MONDAY
Phew! We’re back to just the one good-looking, charismatic David. All I can say is thank goodness for that! My mental health will be all the better for it and no doubt poor Mr Miliband’s will be, too. What a kerfuffle! He can bang on about his ‘I can’ philosophy all he likes, but when it comes right down to it he just so obviously jolly well can’t.
Still, at least the soon-to-be-disbanded ‘Kill Mil’ unit has been useful. Am off there now to change into my Kate Moss for Topshop off-the-(left)-shoulder cocktail dress, ready for swanky Policy Exchange five-year anniversary celebration tonight at the Four Seasons. Everyone who is anyone in the world of compassionate centre-right realignment will be there. Jed, Kate, Gids, lovely Mr Boles, Mr Maude — although he’s grumbling already on grounds that it looks too triumphalist to be having a party ‘at this stage in the electoral cycle’.
TUESDAY
What a night! More mods than a scene from Quadrophenia! Mr Boles stole the show by turning up with his arm in a sling having fallen off his bike on Jed’s orders (I mean, he was cycling on Jed’s orders, not falling off). You’ve got to hand it to him, this was a stroke of genius. I said I’d twisted my ankle falling off my experimental, biodegradable stilettos, but it didn’t really work.
Gids was on top form. Mr Dale (you know, that man on the internet) asked him what the next stage of the ‘Cameron project’ would be and Gids said ‘it’s called the Conservative party’. Meow! Even Mr Maude enjoyed himself, telling everyone how terrible it was in the good old bad old days.
WEDNESDAY
Am throwing myself into this ‘Social Action’ business. Dave is obsessed with it, or Jed has told Dave to be obsessed with it, I’m not sure which exactly.
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