Did Rishi really not know about Zahawi’s tax troubles?

Necromancy was the main theme at PMQs. The Labour party has realised that Nadhim Zahawi’s resignation has left a gaping hole in their ‘sleazy Tories’ strategy. They badly need him back on stage.

Sir Keir Starmer addressed Rishi’s fanciful claim that the rumours about Zahawi’s tax affairs were unknown to him until recent weeks. Sir Keir quoted three daily papers that mentioned Zahawi’s murky financial affairs last July. And he treated Rishi’s denials with blokeish scorn.

‘Oh come on. Anyone picking up a newspaper would have known it.’

Is it credible that Rishi knew less about Zahawi than the media, the whole of parliament and most voters? Rishi mounted a feeble defence and said he’d followed the correct procedures.

Sir Keir parodied this, as if the PM were an untrained air-traffic controller blaming a plane crash on a bust computer.

‘Nobody told me. I didn’t know. I didn’t ask.’

Rishi indulged in a spot of spiritualism as well by evoking the vanquished spectre of Jeremy Corbyn. Sir Keir has denounced the Corbyn era as a period when ‘hate was allowed to spread unchallenged in the Labour party.’

He spoke of this as if it were ancient history but, as Rishi pointed out, ‘he was sitting right next to (Corbyn), supporting him for four long years.’

Rishi’s best moment came when he mentioned Rosie Duffield who likens membership of the Labour party to ‘an abusive relationship.’ The PM accused Sir Keir of abandoning Duffield.

‘He can’t be trusted to stand up for women in his party and he can’t be trusted to stand up for Britain.’

Stephen Flynn of the SNP lectured MPs about the glories of the European Union.

‘We’ve just marked the third anniversary of Brexit,’ said Flynn, as the Tories united in instant celebration. ‘Hooray!’ they yelled. Flynn slapped them down.

‘They’ll not be cheering in a moment,’ he said. A revealing response. Flynn feels more comfortable with misery than with pleasure. He seems to regard positive feelings as a toxic menace that can lead to contentment and even long-term happiness. He told the house that Brexit had wrecked Britain’s balance of payments, landed us with an annual bill of £100 billion, and left our economy lagging behind Russia’s. He added that living standards had plunged to the levels of the 1930s. His thins lips curled with satisfaction.

Rishi obviously regards Flynn as an irrelevant sourpuss but he’s too well-mannered to say so. ‘We respect the result of referendums,’ he said tersely.

Then, the return of another political wraith: Ian Blackford was asked to speak and the entire house broke into peals of delight.

Blackford seems a lot less troublesome now that he can’t hog the oxygen at PMQs and test the nation’s patience with a rambling sermon about geopolitics.

‘Thank you for that welcome,’ he said, unsure if the cheers were genuine or ironic. Reverting to his usual methods, he spoke up on behalf of the famished paupers in his constituency who pay for his food-bills and help fund his beautifully tailored suits. He gave three reasons why poor people should panic: inflation is soaring, house repossessions are on the rise, and the IMF foresees that Britain’s economy is about to implode.

‘After 13 years in power,’ he said, ‘the only thing the Tory party has been good at is pushing people into poverty.’ He might have sounded happier about this. Without poverty he wouldn’t have a career.

‘It’s wonderful to hear from the right honourable gentleman,’ said Rishi. That’s the nearest he’ll get to being rude.