Winter looms, and at PMQs the Scottish nationalists were swift to exploit the darkness and the chill. ‘Dread,’ intoned Stephen Flynn, the SNP’s freakishly macabre leader in Westminster. ‘Their hearts fill with dread,’ he said.
Flynn was describing the inner lives of parents in Aberdeen as they contemplate the first snows of November. Their ‘dread’ arises from the knowledge that ‘they simply can’t afford to pay their energy bills,’ he explained. If Flynn played an executioner at the London Dungeon he wouldn’t need a face-mask. His natural expression does the job. He moved on to the children of Aberdeen who, he conceded, ‘were filled with delight’ at the prospect of snow. But the SNP exists to destroy ‘delight’ wherever it appears and to strike terror into the minds of the voters. A fearful electorate is a malleable electorate and the SNP makes no secret of its plan to scare Scotland witless. Flynn evidently believes that his constituents are dim enough to fall for this ploy and he asked Rishi Sunak to express ‘regret’ for leaving Scottish parents without financial help this winter.
‘It’s not right to say there’s no support,’ said Rishi, mildly swatting aside this monstrous whopper. The SNP’s killjoy crusade was seconded by Gavin Newlands who accused Westminster of abusing the Scottish people. He said that Scotland produces £14 billion worth of fuel but pays higher standing-charges than its southern neighbours. Worse still, English people compel the Scots to ‘turn their heating on earlier and off later.’ These evil southerners, he concluded, are happy to see Scotland ‘shivering in the dark this winter to subsidise the richest part of the UK.’
Sir Keir Starmer, picking up on the negative vibe, expressed his newfound dislike of foreigners. Especially foreigners with skills and trades. While describing the wreckage of the government’s immigration policy, he noted that bricklayers from overseas charge ‘£2,500 less than someone already here.’ And he claimed that engineers from abroad accept £6,000 less than locals with identical skills. Clearly this is Labour’s secret plan to win back the Red Wall: they’ll blame migrants for ‘stealing our jobs.’ Rishi countered by accusing Sir Keir of arranging a ‘secret back-room deal’ to bring in 100,000 extra fugitives from Europe. But that vast number, 100,000, now looks nugatory.
These evil southerners, he concluded, are happy to see Scotland ‘shivering in the dark this winter’
Sir John Hayes concurred with Sir Keir’s distaste for foreigners. The Tory MP described the arrival of 1.3 million migrants in the last two years as ‘a catastrophe’, and he said that his view was shared by everyone ‘apart from guilt-ridden bourgeois liberals and greed-driven globalists.’ Rishi thanked him ironically. ‘I’m glad to have his advice as ever.’ Since Sir John and Sir Keir are speaking with one voice on immigration they might start to campaign arm-in-arm.
Labour’s Tulip Siddiq tried to turn the session into an epoch-making crisis. Her aim was to embarrass Rishi and to force his resignation on the floor of the house. Sifting through the Covid inquiry transcripts, she’d stumbled on an incriminating quote from the chief medical officer which had been ascribed to the PM.
‘Just let people die and that’s OK.’
Siddiq seemed a little flustered by the historic nature of her question and started to ramble and rant at the Treasury bench.
‘How on earth did these people [the Tories] get the impression that he [the PM] was OK with people in our country dying?’
The Speaker had to pull her up. Over to Rishi. Always well-armed in his own defence, he quietly suggested his accuser was making it up.
‘The person she mentioned [the chief medical officer] confirms that he did not hear me say that. And that’s because I didn’t.’
Translation: ‘Don’t try that again, love.’
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