He strutted into the middle of the studio in dark slacks and a creaseless white shirt. Nippy, zestful, ready for anything. Rishi Sunak submitted to a public inquisition on GB News last night and he looked like the guy who warms up the crowd for a motivational speech by Tom Cruise. But Rishi was the headline act. And he was desperate to prepare us for another administration run by Rishi. His opening remarks covered his ‘five priorities – your priorities’ and gave him a chance to quack out his current favourite soundbite, ‘stick with this plan or go back to Square One with Keir Starmer.’
He sounded hesitant and unsure when he added, ‘I’m going to win the next election’
Then it was over to the public. The host said the questions hadn’t been vetted in advance, and GB News had no idea what Rishi would be asked. The first query was as soft as they come. David from Darlington invited the PM to list the Tories’ achievements since 2019.
Rishi boasted about a free-port in Teesside, about stimulating business, about moving a Treasury department to Darlington. ‘Spreading opportunity,’ he said. He has a subtle knack of steering his answers towards the realm of children. ‘Wherever you live and grow up, you’ll know that your dreams can be realised.’
A questioner called Linda told him bluntly that his Rwanda policy has flopped. ‘It isn’t going to work. Be open and honest and tell us what your next steps are.’
‘Great question, Linda,’ gushed Rishi. ‘I think illegal migration is profoundly unfair, right?’ he said, getting all matey. ‘This country is based on a sense of fairness, right? We put in our fair share, right? And illegal immigration breaks that sense of fairness.’ He cited a large drop in numbers from a tiny country, Albania. ‘We returned 5,000 Albanians last year. And what do you know? They stopped coming. The numbers are down by 90 per cent.’ Rishi loves this statistic but it conceals an untruth. ‘They stopped coming.’ No they didn’t. Ten percent of all Albanian hopefuls are still paddling across the channel and enjoying a tax-payer funded holiday. When Rishi made his pledge he used very specific wording. ‘Stop the boats.’ Not ‘hinder the boats’ or ‘cut the boats by a little.’ Now he tells us that ‘illegal migrants are down by third.’ So the pledge has changed to suit the outcome.
He made an extraordinary boast about the writ of our police forces across the Channel. Speaking of a new security deal with France, he said ‘barriers’ are now blocking rivers ‘that lead up to the beaches in France.’ And we’ve ‘started fighting crime upstream in Europe before anyone gets near the Channel.’ No wonder we can’t police Britain properly. Our cops are chasing criminals around Normandy as well.
When asked about rising support for Reform UK, he retreated into true-blue generalities. ‘What you want and what I want are the same,’ he said blandly, ‘controlling spending, cutting taxes, strong borders, …’ He urged the electorate not to cast their ballots tactically. ‘A vote for anyone who is not a Conservative is a vote for to put Keir Starmer in Number 10.’
He sounded hesitant and unsure when he added, ‘I’m going to win the next election.’
Daniel, a private school teacher, criticised Labour’s plan to impose VAT on school fees. ‘Middle income families’ will be harmed, according to Daniel, and their children may end up ‘in the swamp state sector.’ Rishi didn’t challenge the use of language, instead he grovelled to his inquisitor.
‘Daniel, we should put you in front of a TV camera. That’ll solve the problem.’
He ignored the economic case against VAT on school fees and mounted an emotional defence of his family. ‘I get attacked by Keir Starmer because of where I went to school… but this means attacking my parents.’
The Labour leader featured constantly last night. Rishi said his government wants to build 100,000 more houses but Starmer blocked it. He’s ready to fly the dinghy people out to Rwanda but Starmer blocked that too. He supports more North Sea oil-rigs but guess what: ‘virtue-signalling Labour opposed it.’ By Rishi’s account, Starmer is already running the country. Perhaps the PM should try to seize power during his final months in No. 10. Or, if he wants to make the important decisions like Starmer, maybe he should become leader of the opposition.
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