Doggo lingo

Doggy sounds childish. ‘How much is that doggie in the window?’ asks the popular song. (The song title used the spelling doggie, being American, though Britain enjoyed a cover version by Lita Roza in 1953, the same year as Patti Page’s original.). Doggo sounds cooler (like daddy-o in hep talk), but in the strange world of internet image-sharing it goes with a sentimentality which would shame the nursery.

The internet has said ‘Aaah’ (or in America ‘Aaaw’) to cute cats, but people post pictures a-plenty of cute dogs. One Twitter account, WeRateDogs, has 8.13 million followers and simply tweets photos of dogs with a caption and a rating out of ten. Like the 110 per cent that employees are asked to give, its ratings exceed the maximum. So, under a picture of a dog in a mortarboard, a caption reads: ‘This is Pake. His parents just graduated and he was feeling a little left out. Not any more. 14/10 barkalaureate inbound.’

Worse, to my mind, are brave dogs at the vet’s: ‘This is Taíno. He was found on the side of a road in Puerto Rico. It’s possible he was hit by a car, as his front right leg is severely deformed. He’s having surgery to correct it.’ Sickening.

On Facebook, a group called Dogspotting also shares cute pictures. Members learn a common jargon, calling dogs doggos, or puppers if they are young. An overweight dog may be a loaf or fat boi.

Fluffy dogs are called fluffers or floofs. A bark is a bork and onomatopoeic words denote chop-licking (mlem) or tongue-lolling (blop). As an intensive (like very), heckin is used, sometimes spelled h*ckin. Heckin derives from another internet pastime: ‘interior monologue captioning’ of animal pictures. It’s the animal speaking, or thinking.