Easy romp

Zombieland
15, Nationwide

Le Donk & Scor-zay-zee
15, Key Cities

I can’t say I care much for zombies — that is, film zombies; I’ve never met a real one — but the horror-comedy Zombieland is quite fun and does feature such a delicious cameo from Bill Murray it almost makes up for all the overlong scenes in which the zombies groan and stagger and spew black bile and haemorrhage blood and generally do what zombies do. I don’t think I even get zombies. OK, they’re the living dead, but what do they have against the living living? What have the living living ever done to them? Why do they always want to barricade them in a single room? Why do they want to eat human flesh? Why can’t they schlep round Tesco, bring all the stuff home, carry it in from the car, put it all away, and then cook something up, like everyone else? What makes them so special? This is why I don’t care for zombies. They act like the normal rules don’t apply.

Anyway, this is set in a post-apocalyptic America where the zombies have already taken over the earth due to some viral-based infection and only a handful of humans remain, as is always the way. Our main guy is Columbus, a nerdy, awkward, phobic loner as played endearingly by Jesse Eisenberg. Columbus — all the characters are named after their home towns, by the way — is going it alone until, on one of those deserted highways festooned with abandoned cars, he runs into Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), a gun-toting, badass tough guy who, it turns out, has a sentimental side, as is always the way, too. In turn, these two join forces with two sisters (Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin) and together they all head towards a Californian theme park where the zombies may bite their hearts out but, heck, at least you don’t have to queue for the rides (a fair trade-off, I’d have thought).