They’re playing with a Rubik’s Cube in Paris trying to cobble together a government. An Italian-job technocratic government? A national government of all talents? A wonky coalition in the hope that something turns up? Perhaps France might discover, like Belgium, that it does better with no government at all.
Emmanuel Macron, who has provoked this political nervous breakdown, normally rushes onto television to treat French voters to his subtle thoughts, and perhaps he will break his silence and confide in us. His prolonged silence has nevertheless been telling. He’s cornered.
Why he did this is inexplicable. He’s become the chained duck
Obviously by any rational criteria of job performance Macron is guilty of gross misconduct and should be escorted out of the building by security. It’s more complicated than that. Even though he is the architect of this capharnaüm the constitutional process of replacing him would add even more instability to the political entropy.
Paris is divided in three parts and has a strong resemblance to a circus, with an unruly crowd at the perimeter. There’s the Big Top of the Assemblée National, scene of both immediate battles as well as a stage for prospective presidential candidates to strut in the run-up to 2027, or whenever the next presidential election might be.
Glowering across the contaminated Seine is Macron’s Elysée Palace, where he is hunkered down with Brigitte and advisers who no longer trust him and are leaking like a tamis. YouTube has become a festival of Downfall parodies of Macron raging in his bunker.
And then there are the 10,000 or so people of the Paris blob – the smug leftist journalists, academics, subsidariat, well-schooled snobs – who once thought themselves untouchable but are now confronted by the spectre of barbarians at the gate and fear of another orgy of civil disorder.
Macron had three years remaining on his second term when he triggered this election, which has lost him his relative parliamentary majority, his own credibility and the credit of France. Why he did this is inexplicable. He’s become the chained duck.
Not to insult him, but to attempt to explain him, is he losing control of himself? He ticks every box in the Narcissistic Personality Disorder diagnosis. His emotional intelligence is net zero and voters have grown to despise him. Elections have become a referendum on him and he keeps losing.
One secret in plumbing the depths of important men is to chercher la femme. Macron married his drama teacher 24 years his senior and performance remains crucial to his personality. He can be very charming in a small group, where it’s clear he is the sovereign. But in public he is clumsy and sometimes outrageous. He is increasingly resembling a cosplaying drama student who loves to dress up.
At the very start of his presidency, he had himself photographed after his inauguration. He was immaculate in a beautifully cut suit, his Legion d’Honneur illuminated, solemnly proceeding through the Hall of Mirrors at Versailles, flanked by the Republican Guard in their extravagant dress uniforms, with drawn swords. It was beautifully photographed, and an extraordinary, boastful image. The French had elected a king, an absolute monarch.
Soon after, after brutally sacking the chief of the military to show he was in charge, he moved to establish his authority as commander in chief by visiting a French nuclear submarine and dressing up like a naval officer in a military tunic. A grand spectacle. Arrival in helicopter.
More recently he took to a khaki sweatshirt to channel Volodymyr Zelensky. Macron the warrior. A few weeks ago it was his Sylvester Stallone tribute, Emmanuel ‘Rocky’ Balboa Macron, working out with a punch bag in a gym in Paris. The photograph was taken by the official Elysée photographer and the bulgy biceps are rumoured to have been photoshopped in post-production. The stunt is thought to have been Brigitte’s idea. Boxing fans were nevertheless unimpressed by his jab.
And then, last week, in the most provocative gesture of them all, he dressed up like Tom Cruise. The very day after the first round of the National Assembly election, he was parading before the paps in a stylish leather jacket and baseball cap. The Top Gun. Lieutenant Emmanuel ‘Maverick’ Macron. Brigitte wore Yves Saint Laurent.
All the world’s a stage for Macron but voters, from the left and right, aren’t buying it. And even the centre is having its doubts.
Narcissism and betrayal are closely connected and a willingness to overlook others in pursuit of self is a long-established characteristic of the president’s nature.
As a young banker at Rothschild in Paris there were already disturbing signals of an ambition with no limits to its ruthlessness, a friend tells me who was there. Macron was more of a courtier than a deal-maker, very close to David Rothschild, and was given credit for the achievements of others. He was never hesitant to blame others for setbacks, avoiding taking responsibility himself.
Macron left the bank and became an Inspector of Finance, in the highest echelon of the French civil service. He ingratiated himself with the then- president François Hollande and became a non-parliamentary minister of finance. This was before stabbing Hollande in the back and stealing the presidency himself.
Now there is his ultimate betrayal with this election. He’s thrown away everything in a fit of petulance.
And it’s not over. After the election, nothing is settled and there are dangerous currents.
Macron invited Jean-Luc Mélenchon into his tent to stop Marine Le Pen’s National Rally and Mélenchon is refusing to leave. If he gets anything of what he wants, cue an exodus of French yacht people heading for exile in South Kensington.
Andrew Neil and I both immediately figured out on Sunday that the unappreciated winner in the election was Marine Le Pen, whose third-place finish was perfectly placed. She fought a competent campaign and her voters aren’t blaming her for failure. She won 37 per cent of the vote and increased the number of her seats. Best, not achieving any kind of majority, as had been predicted, has done her a favour because none of what is now unfolding is her fault.
Her protégé Jordan Bardella did well, too, broadening the reach of the party towards the young. He’s increased the size of her group in parliament by 50 per cent. She’s still in pole position for the 2027 presidential where the electoral calculus might be slightly more favourable. She’ll be singing in her shower.
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