Bruce Anderson

Farewell to wine every day

Are there still travelling fairs? In many villages, they used to be part of the annual round. For weeks, the children’s anticipation would mount. Then the great day would come. Clowns, dodgems, candy floss: in those day no one knew about sugar-rushes so the brats grew delirious with excitement while the parents enjoyed themselves more than they let on. Does all that still happen – or do you have to go to Boris Johnson’s office for a similar spectacle?

On a smaller scale, I entertain my friends about once a year with a fantasy which does not require so many props. It is called the Anderson diet fair. I announce my determination to lose weight and my audience responds with unalloyed scepticism. In City parlance, when they hear the words ‘Anderson diet’, they are selling. This time, they may be wrong. As my eighth decade is not far over the horizon, doctors almost seem disappointed that I have not done myself more harm, but they have persuaded me that this will not last and that it is time to take health marginally more seriously.

So I am following three rules. Atkins and anti-carbohydrates: occasional lapses, but I have mostly been obedient. Giving up spirits: the odd back-sliding, but remarkable firmness of purpose. As for wine, up to three days of abstinence per week: so far, so compliant. Beyond that, try to cut down the quantity, and if the table wine is nothing special, leave it on the table. It helps that I have a female doctor whose shock when she worked out that I consumed 100 units a week was genuine. (I suppose that it does seem a lot to a girl, although I can think of some girls…) When I told a previous doctor how much I drank, he fixed me with a beady eye, saying: ‘Are you telling me the truth?’ ‘Well, more or less.

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