Jaspistos

Hard sell

In competition No. 2488 you were invited to write a publisher’s press release for one of the following: Weeds in a Changing World; Bombproof your Horse; How Green were the Nazis?.

In competition No. 2488 you were invited to write a publisher’s press release for one of the following: Weeds in a Changing World; Bombproof your Horse; How Green were the Nazis?. The assignment was inspired by the contest for the Oddest Book Title of the Year, run since 1978 by the Bookseller. Bombproof your Horse (helpfully subtitled: Teach your Horse to Be Confident, Obedient, and Safe No Matter What You Encounter), a serious manual for equestrians by Rick Pelicano and Lauren Tjaden which sells a steady 400 copies a month, stormed to victory in 2004. The prizewinners, printed below, get £25 a piece. Alan Millard’s brew of cliché and hyperbole, infused with breathy excitement, perfectly demonstrates the PR’s gift for using a lot of words while revealing very little, but the extra fiver goes to G.M. Davis, champion of the spindly-limbed and concave-chested.

Weeds in a Changing World examines the contemporary cult of muscular masculinity from the days of Charles Atlas and ‘dynamic tension’ to Sylvester Stallone’s and Brad Pitt’s pumped-up torsos, with particular reference to an alternative physical type, the ectomorph. The author foresees a new line of development in ideal male body images, taking its cue from such slender, cave-chested figures as Montgomery Clift and Jarvis Cocker. Brute strength, he argues, has had its day, finally discredited by America’s global bullying and ‘shock and awe’ tactics. The weedy loser who once got sand kicked in his face will be the hero of tomorrow — unthreatening, cerebral and sensitive. Like Harry Potter, he will be attuned to spiritual forces. Soon the protein-heavy man with the ‘six-pack’ will be an obsolescent freak. This radical thesis, so relevant for our times, is sure to stir debate and will attract the thoughtful, unprejudiced reader.
G.M. Davis

Widely tipped to be a literary bombshell bursting on the market with unparalleled success, Professor Pratt’s latest masterpiece is destined to become the publishing sensation of the century.

Already a subscriber? Log in

Keep reading with a free trial

Subscribe and get your first month of online and app access for free. After that it’s just £1 a week.

There’s no commitment, you can cancel any time.

Or

Unlock more articles

REGISTER

Comments

Don't miss out

Join the conversation with other Spectator readers. Subscribe to leave a comment.

Already a subscriber? Log in