You know you’ve been irreversibly sucked into the ninth circle of horse-owning hell when you find yourself perusing an equine supplement catalogue. If you ask me, these tomes should have a disclaimer on the front saying, ‘Abandon all hope, ye pony-lovers who enter here.’ The equine supplement industry is a vast money-burning pit into which you shall surely fall unless you hold fast and stolidly remain the sort of owner who says ‘stuff and nonsense’ whenever anyone tries to tell you that horses have complementary medicinal needs.
I used to be extremely stolid. I once overheard a horse-owner in a stable yard telling a fellow livery: ‘My boy is loving his turmeric!’ And I decided there and then that I would never, ever — come colic, tie-up, busted tendons or knackered suspensory ligaments — entertain the notion of trying alternative equine remedies. As I listened to this nice lady describing how she was treating her nag’s lameness with a spice used in curry dishes, I made a mental note: ‘That way madness lies.’
But the other day, in an idle hour, I picked up the horse health magazine that had come through the post in one of those direct mailshots, no doubt because I buy horse feed from a country store and they’ve sold my information. The beautiful warmblood on the front cover gleamed with vitality. Inside, there were more pictures of shiny dressage horses in tip-top condition. And after all the numnahs and girths, tail bandages and fleece rugs, the shock absorbing tendon boots and the little tassely hats that sit on top of their ears to keep the flies off, I found myself on the supplement pages.
‘Go on,’ I heard a voice inside my head say.

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