How can we complain about the 2034 Saudi World Cup?

I suppose it is a mild surprise that Fifa didn’t choose Yemen to host the 2034 World Cup, as the bosses of that awful organisation seem determined to make football do a tour of the world’s most primitive and dangerous hellholes. Instead, it’s Saudi Arabia. Of course it is.

Over the last ten years the Saudis have been getting increasingly excited by football, first buying up Newcastle United and next buying every famous player aged 30 or over to compete in a league nobody cares about for fabulous wages. Plenty have gone, including Ivan Toney, Demarai Gray and Jordan Henderson.

That Fifa does not give a monkey’s about human rights is no great surprise: it sees its job solely as spreading football as a commodity to places where it is totally unsuitable to play the game – scorching sandpits being top of its list at the moment. I assume the tournament will have to take place in winter because of the danger to supporters as much as players. The homoistas are of course furious, insisting that gay fans will not feel secure in a country which homosexuality is illegal. The other fans won’t like it because there will be nowhere to buy alcohol. And no national side will boycott because there simply isn’t the will to do so.

So, a travesty of a tournament played in a totally unsuitable absolute dictatorship. But how can we complain after Qatar – and after we allowed the Saudis to buy Newcastle United?