I’m not sure it’s safe for me to fly

I find myself at a bit of a loss this week, for which apologies. I had hoped to write something inappropriate and threatening about Iran. Or, if not that, then contrasted in a less than sensitive manner the amount of press coverage afforded to that appalling murder of Afghan civilians by a soldier with the amount devoted to the deaths of six British soldiers in that benighted hellhole. Unfortunately, I cannot do either. In my position I have to look after myself, guard my interests and so on. I have a family. They may not like me very much but they do rely upon me for food and shelter, which I will not be able to provide for them if I am in prison.

Two Israeli citizens were arrested at Heathrow Airport earlier this week for having made remarks about Iran during a flight from Las Vegas. They were met by armed policemen from the Met and bunged in a cell for at least six hours before being released without charge. I have tried, very hard, to find out the precise nature of these remarks, but without much success. We are told only that they were ‘inappropriate and threatening’ remarks and were made to one of British Airways’ awful, self-important trolley dollies, who alerted the filth having found the comments ‘disruptive’.

This is a huge worry for me. I cannot for one minute imagine I could get through any flight, let alone a long-haul flight, without saying something very inappropriate and threatening about Iran either to the person sitting next to me, or to a trolley dolly, or, in extremis, to myself. Or maybe not Iran — possibly Chad, or Tuvalu, or Belgium. Where do I stand now? A few things did emerge from my chats with the police and BA: first, no passenger complained.