I’m setting up a ‘climate crisis hub’

‘We thought the house would make the most fantastic centre for climate action,’ I heard myself telling the cat rescue lady as she let the two moggies out of their carriers into the living room.

I was trying to reassure the socially conscious liberal who had brought the two cats we were adopting that she was leaving them in what she would consider a good place.

I said: ‘We want it to be somewhere schoolchildren can come to learn about biodiversity…’ What was I on about?

Still, pretending I was turning my house into a climate crisis hub was a bit much.

I had just come back from the bank where they had on their wall a poster for a nearby country house where the owners had done exactly that – to get the EU grants, according to the girl behind the counter when I asked her about it. And why not? We might have to go down that route if the plumbing gets much more expensive.

I regurgitated what was on the wall in the bank to the cat lady after she asked me what I planned to do with the place as we stood in the formal front room, while the cats pottered about mewing and exploring, walking along the piano, then jumping up and sitting inside the grand Georgian box windows.

Rather than saying we were selfish so-and-sos who wanted to live in a big house with land, maybe make a packet by doing Airbnb, I said: ‘We want it to be somewhere schoolchildren can come to learn about sustainability and biodiversity…’ What the heck was I on about?

‘We’re thinking of having a social café, and a series of artist workshops focusing on engaging people in a conversation about nature…’ I was spouting word salad, really.