In defence of drunken freshers’ weeks

I don’t remember much of freshers’ week at Edinburgh. Friends have helped to fill in the blanks. I vaguely recall a police officer handing out vodka shots to show how easy it was to fail a breathalyser test. A famous DJ had his set in the union cut short because he played the song ‘Blurred Lines’. It had been banned by student politicians.

I have hazy memories, too, of my first interactions with posh English women. One assumed I must be gifted since I’d made it into university from a Scottish state school. Another asked if I was limping because I’d overdone it at the ‘introduction to reeling event’ (I have cerebral palsy). Posh English men were no better. At a party exclusively made up of Old Harrovians, I was laughed at when I got out my Android phone. This was an iPhone-only crowd.

During freshers’ week, I met communists and members of European royal families. It was fun but awkward. I’m not sure I could have done it sober. But things are changing. Several universities have renamed freshers’ week ‘welcome week’ to try to break away from the association with heavy drinking. At King’s College and UCL the freshers’ fair has become the ‘welcome’ fair. Exeter University officials have made similar changes, saying: ‘We’ve decided to rename freshers’ to ensure the language we use is relevant and inclusive to all students.’ Edinburgh has haughtily declared: ‘We do not use “freshers” terminology. All official content and events will be under the banner “welcome week”.’

Aberdeen University has gone even further – it has closed the student bar after it turned over just £2,000 in four months, despite a £200,000 renovation. This was hardly a shock, given that at the same time the union said: ‘We aim to be inclusive so we try not to organise events that promote drinking culture.’