It’s not surprising overweight people are being turned away by nightclubs

Should enormously fat women be allowed into nightclubs? The obvious answer is ‘no, of course not, are you out of your f****** mind?’ But door policies which discriminate against the morbidly obese can undoubtedly be hurtful.

Amy Pitcher and an un-named friend were denied entry to a club in Ashford, Kent; the bouncer didn’t actually say ‘it’s because you’re both the size of one of Saturn’s moons – and I mean Titan, not Methas’. But Amy guessed that was the reason, because she is so large she exerts a gravitational pull on small every day items.

Annoyingly, the nightclub has since apologised, as everybody has to do these days. Other social groups against whom nightclubs habitually discriminate are the elderly, the infirm, groups of single men, people dressed like Jacob Rees-Mogg MP, likeable people and those from our armed services. You’re in good company, then, Amy – so go on, settle down on the couch with a pre-dinner snack, and stop moaning.