The Tory conference parties are in full flow and the political speeches are underway. At the TaxPayers’ Alliance reception, shadow justice secretary Robert Jenrick was the speaker of choice – and he didn’t disappoint. Crowning himself the ‘drug mule’ of the party, Jenrick laughed about the Ozempic trend that has taken over London:
I’ve managed to persuade quite a few people in this room to get slim. I’m like Pete Hegseth now. Fit, not fat.
And the weight loss analogy didn’t stop there:
On a serious note. The work that has been done to ensure, through the brilliant campaigns that you have been waging, that we actually begin to turn the tide, and that we start one day to shrink. The size of the state is immensely valuable. And we’ve got to do that now more than ever, because you see what this Labour government is doing to our country under Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves. I mean, they really are operating the economy, by which I mean that you’ve got a group of little pricks in the cabinet who are not just stopping growth, but have actually dramatically thrown it into reverse.
Burn…
On the state of the Tories, Jenrick went on:
We’re at a bit of a low ebb right now in the Conservative Party. I understand that, but we may be down, but we’re not out. We’re not out. And you heard earlier today, I hope, Kenny’s speech over in the main hall, and she was right to say that we can turn this thing around. We can get the Conservative Party back into gear. We can put our foot on the pedal and get us back into action.
He concluded:
And that matters more than ever for the sake of our country and our politics. Because it’s not going to be Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves who turns the country around. Obviously, I don’t know. Keir Starmer is a good man or a bad man for my opinion, but he’s fundamentally unsuited to be prime minister of our country at a time of immense challenge.
Shots fired! And sources tell Mr S Jenrick has an even punchier conference speech is in the works. Stay tuned…
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