Julian Smith: Despite being sacked, it has been a weirdly good week

A doctor will tell you heart attacks may appear to come out of the blue, but if you look carefully, you can spot the telltale signs. The same is true of my prospects at last week’s cabinet reshuffle. Things seemed positive enough on Monday. I attended an event in London to celebrate the first same-sex marriage in Northern Ireland. Westminster Hall was packed with many of those who had pushed social changes through last year, such as Lord Hayward and Conor McGinn, together with new MPs such as Colum Eastwood, the charismatic, debonair SDLP leader. But my suspicions were raised by Tuesday: my close protection apologised about the swap to a Skoda because the main car was in the garage; I received a fumbled brief about what would happen ‘should things go badly’ for me in the reshuffle; and finally, I could no longer reach the team on the normal phone due to ‘battery problems’.

News from my private office confirmed that indeed miracles would be required to turn this patient’s prospects around. After a few side glances one private secretary told me that he had got wind via the civil service ‘net’ that I should be in for 8 a.m. on Thursday. Loyally he suggested there was nothing suspicious, but a call for early presence on execution day can only mean one thing. If I had not got the message by now, the clumsy briefing of a government adviser to his favoured journalist spelt it out in black and white. On Wednesday night the Times reported my expected fate, suggesting the reason for the chop was that Downing Street had been unaware of key details of the deal to restore Stormont. I was grateful for the opportunity to confirm to the journalist that a PM does not sign off a key government deal without reading it first, alongside a phalanx of talented PJ Masks aides.