Taki Taki

Late-night antics

Broadsides from the pirate captain of the Jet Set

Washington, DC

By all accounts the American Conservative’s first anniversary party went off without a hitch. My friend Prince Radziwill came over for it, as did Charlie Glass, a very nice thing for both men to do, not to mention Major Chris Meyers, a tough Marine officer who flew from Los Angeles. Well, not to nit-pick, but perhaps there was a slight hitch, something to do with my speech. I don’t know why it is, but whenever a situation demands gravitas, a little voice inside me always tells me to do the opposite.

For example, after welcoming everyone to a rooftop restaurant overlooking the Washington Monument and the Mall, for some strange reason I brought up the ‘gay small-penis support group’, and even produced a New York magazine article which had brought the gay small-penis support group to my attention. (I don’t believe any of our loyal readers are interested, but perhaps some of their foreign friends might be, so here is the group’s address: Room 312 in the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center on 13th Street, New York.) The reason I brought up the tiny organs was that so many neo-cons (or nouveau cons, as the French call them) were missing from my own tiny organ’s birthday. I announced that they had sent their regrets but were busy speaking to the gay small-penis support group in the Bagel and had rsvp’d their regrets. Oh well, people cannot be in two places at once, and the nouveau cons made it obvious whom they preferred.

Mind you, size does matter, and I’m very happy to report that we had a full house. Although Washington is not known as a party town, some friends and I did our best to upgrade the town’s reputation by some late-night roistering.

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