Love lecture

In Competition No. 2425 you were invited to do as Ovid did: give poetic advice as to how to pick up, seduce and keep a lover of either sex.

Here’s one of Ovid’s shrewd pieces of advice to girls (my translation, The Modern Library, New York, rush out and buy it):

Steer clear of the young professor
Of elegance, the too good-looking snappy dresser
Who’s always arranging his hair — he’ll tell you a stale,
Thousand-times-told tale,
But his heart’s a gipsy, it camps, it moves.
What