The other day I had one of those awkward moments. We were guests at dinner. ‘You’re a wine writer!’ said our host. ‘I’d like your opinion on these two!’ You’re still supposed to say, ‘Goodness, these are delicious! What did they cost? Only £4.99 a bottle! That’s amazing!’ Instead you cast round for words that won’t offend or actually lie. ‘Never had anything quite like that before!’ might serve. Your host presses: ‘But do you like it?’ The only reply is, ‘Well, wine is a very subjective thing. As I always say, “If you like it, then it’s a good wine.” ’
In this case the red was a thin, mass-produced plonk with a fancy label. The white did surprise me; it was the first awful Sauvignon Blanc I’ve ever had from New Zealand. You could have poured it into the washing machine to help tackle stubborn stains.
Of course the bottles came from one of the many giant mail-order companies that offer vast quantities of cheap wines, all allegedly ‘worth’ far more than they’re charging.
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