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Middle-aged non-smoker for hire: Sebastian Faulks looks for work

Middle-aged non-smoker for hire: Sebastian Faulks looks for work
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Sebastian Faulks has just finished work on his latest book, Where My Heart Used to Beat. Rather than go on holiday now the deadline has been met, the Birdsong author is on the look out for a nine to five job. Writing in this week's edition of The Spectator, Faulks says he is open to pretty much anything so long as the  job comes with a decent level of office gossip, the opportunity to lunch and the chance of promotion.

'I have now spent almost a quarter of a century alone in a garret staring at a blank wall and I think it has driven me a bit mad. I’ve done my stint. I need to have a job again now. I want colleagues, gossip, promotions, lunches and a PAYE packet in a grey windowed envelope, with tax and National Insurance deductions already made. So that’s my resolution for this year: find a job. I can still write books at night and at the weekend, as I did in the early days. So if anyone has something for a chronically unemployed middle-aged non-smoker with no qualifications at all, here I am.'

Mr S is happy to pass on any offers.

Written bySteerpike

Steerpike is The Spectator's gossip columnist, serving up the latest tittle tattle from London and beyond. Email tips to steerpike@spectator.co.uk.

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