Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

Naked lunches and hidden bigotry

Plus: why Islam must be held to account for child sex abuse scandals

Have you got your names down yet for the Bunyadi? I’d hurry, if I were you. There’s currently a waiting list of more than 40,000, most of them homo-sexual Camden cyclists, I would guess. The Bunyadi is the country’s first nude restaurant and is, of course, in London. You go in, take all of your clothes off, sit yourself down in the noisome detritus left by the previous diner’s prolapsed rectum, and peruse the menu. Your waiters are not quite nude. They have small coverings to prevent unfortunate accidents. You would not wish to turn around in your seat to order a glass of water only to have your eye poked out by a Polish penis, or your nose immersed in a fragrant Slovak lady garden. But everything else is nude. The food too, according to the proprietors. What does that mean? It means vegan, naturellement. Not just nuts, but berries, too. The restaurant does not use electricity or gas, you see — only elemental things, such as fire. Everything you could possibly want to take you back to primordial times, just after we were slime.

Someone on social media suggested that The Bunyadi was a mere gimmick and very soon the only patrons would be ‘fat fags’. Aside from the repellent homophobia of the terminology, I think this commentator got it wrong. I think it will do very well indeed. It will not be patronised only by homosexual Camden cyclists, as I suggested, although they will be the stalwarts, I would guess. But there are also Hoxton lesbians who run drama workshops which, somewhere down the line, you pay for, and straight women called Roz who are working towards a degree in urban studies at the London School of Economics. And Oli, who is a researcher for the BBC and runs a bullying awareness workshop in his spare time.

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