Our house was burgled as we watched The Fall

Caroline and I were watching The Fall in our front room when the intruder entered our house. Not great timing on his part, considering The Fall is a BBC drama series about a serial killer who breaks into people’s homes, then tortures and murders them.

Thankfully, we never actually set eyes on him. We only discovered we’d been burgled when we returned to the kitchen to load the dishwasher and found various items missing. But still. Caroline was probably more upset than she would have been if we’d been watching Eat, Pray, Love — which we wouldn’t have been, obviously, because it’s complete drek.

I was up most of the night trying to catch the bugger. It quickly became clear that the only things he’d stolen were Apple products — a MacBook Air, a MacBook, an iPad 1, an iPad 2, two iPods and my iPhone. And if you think that’s a lot of Apple devices for one household, I count myself lucky that he didn’t get my MacBook Pro, my wife’s iPhone or my son’s iPad Mini, all of which were with us in the sitting room. Or, indeed, my iPod, my iMac or my two Apple TVs.

OK, OK, so I’m a Mac-oholic. But the good thing about Apple devices is that you can load an app on to most them called ‘Find My iPhone’ which enables you to track them down via Google Maps if they ever get lost. When I discovered I’d been robbed by the Apple burglar — is this the urban version of scrumping? — the first thing I did was to launch the tracking programme on my MacBook to see if any of the stolen goods were broadcasting a signal. Sure enough, there on the screen was a pulsing green dot about half a mile from my house.