Lloyd Evans Lloyd Evans

PMQs was a blue-on-blue bloodbath

Boris Johnson (Photo: Getty)

Knife crime beset PMQs. It was a horrific blue-on-blue bloodbath as Tory backstabbers queued up to play the role of Brutus and hack Caesar to death.

David Davis shoved in his stiletto and claimed that the PM’s lack of integrity would ‘paralyse proper government.’ Mind you, he said that six months ago.

‘I thank him very much for the point he has made again,’ said Boris.

Super-sulky Tim Loughton asked, ‘does he think there are any circumstances in which he should resign?’

‘Being a good father, husband, son and citizen is enough for me,’ claimed the arch-plotter

Boris fought back. ‘The job of a prime minister in difficult circumstances, when he’s been handed a colossal mandate, is to keep going.’

Gary Sambrook was savage and blunt. ‘Take responsibility and resign,’ said the member for Birmingham, Northfield.

At this, Labour MPs erupted into applause which spared Boris the job of replying. The Speaker Hoyle leapt up angrily. ‘You ought to be embarrassed by clapping. This is not a debating society!’

Sir Keir Starmer put in a performance of rare verve and power. His lines were excellent. He called the newly formed Tory cabinet, ‘the charge of the lightweight brigade.’ And he dismissed the rest of the government as ‘a Z-list cast of nodding dogs.’

The SNP’s Ian Blackford wanted Boris to quit on the floor of the house. Straight away. With immediate effect. He regretted that the leadership issue had diverted attention away from ‘the Tory cost of living crisis and soaring inflation’. And he asked the PM ‘when will he finally pick up his pen and write his resignation letter?’ At which point he spotted Boris scribbling in his pad. ‘Or perhaps that’s what he’s doing now.’

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