There is something highly amusing about the thought of a politician on Instagram. It’s like letting a University Challenge panelist loose in Victoria’s Secret. How will they know what to do amid this world of pink, sexed-up, candy floss? They might have mastered other platforms (Twitter, for example), with their fierce duels over facts. But Instagram doesn’t care for such things. Instagram wants you to be cool and curated and know your Lark from your Lo-fi.
Instagram might not land you with death threats, the way Twitter does with MPs, nor get you deselected because of something you once liked – like Facebook – but some would argue Instagram is far more terrifying for MPs. Here’s the lowdown on which honourable members have mastered the art of the gram and who needs a little more time to evolve:
Matt Hancock
Hancock was never handed the easiest of batons. Attempting to deliver public health messaging about how we will all die imminently is never going to go down well on a platform where the scariest thing anyone posts is a #nomakeupselfie. But he’s done quite poorly all the same. His posts are all just videos of him looking concerned in front of a dark green bench in the Commons, except, wait… Ah no, it’s just a square with 6 digits on it, spelling out the number of Covid tests which were done last Friday (testing’s hardly been your magnum opus, Matt…). Far more more fun is the fledgling fan account @MattFANcock (yes, he has a fan – 197 of them in fact), which features a nice smattering of puppy snaps and a horse riding pic. @matthancockmp
Jeremy Corbyn
JC’s grid is on-brand Corbyn. Imagine if you migrated the noticeboard in the local youth centre to Instagram. It’s all purposeful, primary-coloured squares in support of different causes. There are several photos of him looking like a concerned grandfather, ready to tell us what we’ve got wrong – excess without the finesse and the dulcet tones of say, David Attenborough. There is one exception – a red square wishing @arsenal well done for the FA Cup (It might be how you verify you’re a man on Instagram) but he resumes regular service of stern selfies pretty soon after… @jeremycorbyn
Priti Patel
Influencer poses and border control are not two things that usually go hand in hand, but then again, most people don’t have the self-assurance of Priti Patel. Priti is obviously pretty – and like the best of budding influencers she knows her most winning angles. She even offers a salacious wink at a police officer in one of her shots. We like the confidence, the crossing of the arms – but on the side of… a Home Office raid? @pritipatel
Angela Rayner
Angela Rayner doesn’t do filters, but then again why filter when you’ve got such perfect content? She flits between the poster kids of the moment; Chadwick Boseman, Gandhi and Jacinda Arden (actually there’s quite a few of Jacinda Arden. Someone should remind Angela she is not Jacinda Arden). But look, she knows how to be fun too – there’s a photo for National Fish and Chip Day! She is all over the national holiday of every country too, and there are posts for Rosh Hashanah, the Neasden Temple and a memorial for Srebrenica. There is no culturally relevant event that has not been remembered by Angela Rayner. @angelaraynermp
Rishi Sunak
Dishy Rishi has set Gen Z hearts aflutter, so it’s only natural that he should curate his own Instagram page. How else can girls tag each other in photos of his Bambi eyes, shirt-sleeves rolled up as he strains his muscles rolling a beer barrel at the local tavern? That signature though! Rishix .The flourish, the kiss – it’s all perfect. Will his clothing line be debuting in Debenhams next Autumn, after he realises there are bigger things in store for him than Chancellor? Will leftie millennials ever find out he is a Tory? Only time will tell… @rishisunakmp
Jess Phillips
Jess Phillips is the leader of Labour’s cool girls. She’s got the goofy snaps, the anniversary photos with her husband that are cute without the goo. She has style – there’s some funky shoes, a pastel-coloured manicure. She is liberal Instagram all over – photos of artwork, sliced with a bit of activism around Black Lives Matter. And crucially a splash of the relatable – photos of messy rooms mid-building work, and tangled wires. Very good. @jessphillipsmp
Liz Truss
Liz Truss has probably been to a school where they were taught how to use Instagram. She has the omni-flattering Clarendon filter down to a T – and flits seamlessly between photos of power-suited trade deals and selfies with Taylor Swift. Her handle even contains her full name Elizabeth – just to clarify that while in her youth she was a metropolitan Lib Dem, she is now firmly Tory. Liz hasn’t forgotten that she can’t be in the cabinet without being an MP though – and in a nod to her Norfolk constituency, has dropped in some photos of butterflies and outdoorsy, countryside snaps featuring a woolly hat and dogs. We applaud you Liz, you have mastered political Instagram. @elizabeth.truss.mp
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