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Gareth Roberts

Have I Got News for You is a sad, unfunny spectacle

Among austerity measures outlined by Mr George Osborne, the shadow chancellor of the exchequer, at the Conservative party conference in Manchester was that the pensionable age for men should rise to 66 no earlier than 2016, instead of by 2026. He also promised a one-year pay freeze for public-sector workers, apart from the million who earn less than £18,000. On the eve of his speech, Mr Alistair Darling, the Chancellor, came up with the wheeze of suddenly announcing that pay for people in the public sector such as GPs and judges would be frozen. The Conservatives also showed their seriousness in responding to the public deficit by banning overt consumption of champagne at their conference. Mr David Cameron, the leader of the opposition, was photographed by the daily Mirror holding a glass. Later he said: ‘Our country is in a crisis. Our country is in a real hole.’ Mr Cameron refused to promise a referendum in the event of the Lisbon Treaty being ratified by all EU members before the general election. Mr Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London, provokingly popped up to Manchester to suggest that a referendum should be held anyway. Mr Tony Blair, the former prime minister, was expected soon to become the first permanent president of the European Union. ‘I think he would be an excellent choice,’ said Mr David Miliband, the Foreign Secretary. Mr Gordon Brown, the Prime Minister, agreed to hold television debates with Mr Cameron; Mr Alex Salmond, the leader of the Scottish Nationalists, said he wanted one too. Mr Brown visited Northern Ireland to conciliate the coalition of Sinn Fein and Democratic Unionists there by promising them £600 million to fund policing. Mr Bob Ainsworth, the Secretary of State for Defence, visited Afghanistan and, on asking a sergeant in Helmand what he needed most, was told ‘More troops on the ground.’