January
Floods covered 28,000 acres of the Somerset Levels. Ukip suspended an Oxfordshire councillor for saying floods were God’s punishment for legalising same-sex marriage. An Afghan was granted asylum because he had become an atheist. Fallujah fell to the Islamic State of Iraq and al-Sham (Isis). Half a million fled fighting in South Sudan. Cannabis went on sale in Colorado. In Amsterdam, alcoholics were paid in beer to clear up litter. Jeremy Paxman shaved off his beard.
February
Floods grew worse in the West Country. The railway at Dawlish, Devon, was swept away. The Thames then flooded. Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany, visited London to have tea with the Queen and urge Britain to stay in the EU. Copeland, Cumberland was found to have the greatest proportion of fat people in England. Kevin Pietersen was finally dropped by England. In Ukraine 77 people were killed during protests in Kiev and President Viktor Yanukovych disappeared. More than 1,100 Syrians escaped from Homs after a truce. MtGox, an exchange for the virtual BitCoin, disappeared offline, owing customers hundreds of millions of pounds. Shirley Temple, the child film star, died, aged 85.
March
The Prison Service was found to be prohibiting books from being sent to prisoners. Thousands of huge rats were reported to be roaming Birmingham. Thousands of Russian troops took control of the Crimean peninsula. A Malaysia Airlines aeroplane went missing on a flight from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing, with 239 on board. After a tense count, Kim Jong-un, the ruler of North Korea, was elected to parliament with 100 per cent of the votes in his constituency. Guinea, in an attempt to halt the spread of Ebola, banned the eating of bats. Canada offered tax incentives to people who encouraged sexual intercourse between moose in Nova Scotia.
April
Maria Miller resigned as Culture Secretary after delivering an apology in the Commons lasting 32 seconds.

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