Ron Beats Boris and George

The question of who will succeed David Cameron is, in every essential, a pointless parlour game. Obviously, then, it’s great sport for the press and just the kind of thing to entertain hacks and everyone else at Westminster. The “rivalry” between George Osbore and Boris Johnson is the sort of thing that, if it did not exist, would have to be invented by journalists. (Oh: hang on…) It is the successor to Tony vs Gordon and the Tory counter to the Warring Milibands and is a show that won’t close, we’re told, until 2018 or 2019.

So you’ve only to endure another seven or so years of George vs Boris sillyness. This will be fun for everyone! In which light consider these pieces by wise birds Nicholas Watt and Tim Shipman. In the former piece, Osborne’s friends appear, presumably unwittingly, to be on a mission to discredit his Prime Ministerial ambitions; in the latter we’re invited to make sweeping assumptions about Boris’s electability based on his popularity with tennis fans in London.

At some point perhaps the rest of the country will be allowed a word. And the rest of the country will say, Are you bloody kidding? It’s all a long-way off of course and one cannot discount the possibility Osborne will gain the common touch or that Boris will acquire a certain gravitas but, for now at least and I wager for some time to come, the prospect of either man tilting at Number Ten is the best argument of the many good arguments for hoping that David Cameron remains the Conservative party’s leader for many years yet.

Whatever their talents, the obvious answer to the question of George or Boris? is neither of them. Or, actually, Ron – re-open nominations.