Partygate is back in the news after a month of headlines about Ukraine. The Met Police has begun interviewing key witnesses, with more than 100 questionnaires distributed to unlucky staff in Whitehall and No. 10. Boris Johnson, Rishi Sunak and even the Cabinet Secretary Simon Case have been told to submit evidence for the Met’s investigation: if they are found to have broken the law, they could be issued with a fixed penalty notice.
Good luck using that ‘soft on crime’ line on Sir Keir at the next election. Steerpike wonders how each unlucky recipient will justify their shenanigans on their police form. Hopefully, they’ll do better than the defence mustered by Tory loyalist Conor Burns. He shot to internet stardom in January after defending Johnson over an alleged surprise birthday get-together in June 2020. Burns claimed that, rather than being a pre-planned party, the PM was ‘ambushed with a cake’ – a line that spawned a thousand memes.
Now though, Mr S discovers that Johnson is not the only Tory MP to have been surprised by a culinary delicacy. Indeed, far from being a far-fetched excuse, it seems that navigating unplanned gateaux is an occupational hazard for ministers of the crown. That certainly seems to be the case for Guy Opperman who enlivened a recent parliamentary debate on automatic pension enrolment with his wistful recollections about a favoured sweet treat.
The pensions minister greeted the intervention of the DUP’s ever-present Jim Shannon by remembering how, on a previous visit to Northern Ireland: ‘When I arrived I was presented with a ginormous slice of home-made lemon drizzle cake, made by one of the team there. In my view, that is how all Ministers should be greeted.’ The savvy Shannon, angling for a return visit, responded that ‘when the Minister does return, the slice of lemon drizzle cake will be even bigger than the last one he had.’
Indeed the DUP man even offered to send a copy of Hansard to Newtownards Credit Union to ensure that staff there were aware of the minister’s preferences. Cue laughter all round: no bribery here, mi lord. Still, in winding up the debate, perhaps Opperman feared he might have over-indulged in Johnsonian excess by trying to have his cake and eat it. The Tory minister ruefully told the House that ‘I am slightly concerned that the story of today’s debate may be, “Minister admits that in 2018 he, too, was ambushed by a cake”.’
Steerpike is only too happy to oblige. Let’s just hope Opperman isn’t moved to tiers.
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