So Donald Trump is heading for the White House once again. It’s a result that has stunned much of the British commentariat, many of whom fawned over Kamala Harris when she was unveiled as Joe Biden’s successor. Yet, just like in 2016, Harris could not live up to her cheerleaders’ hype. With both Keir Starmer and David Lammy now forced to issue statements expressing their delight at working with ‘the Donald’, Mr S rounds up the usual suspects who had a particularly bad election night…
Carol Vorderman
Once the nation’s sweetheart as the beloved star of Countdown, poor old Vorders seems to have gone off the deep end in recent years. She has spent the last two years making increasingly outlandish attacks on the Tories – only to, er, be somewhat disappointed that Keir Starmer wasn’t quite the Messiah she thought he would be. No matter, she has decided to turn her attention to matters across the Atlantic.
Vorderman spent election day coming out with such gems as ‘Women are turning out to vote Harris in their tens of millions’ and ‘HARRIS WILL WIN’. She even suggested that ‘Trump might well be in jail by Xmas’ and predicted ‘Harris by a shock landslide’ with ‘Trump sentenced for his 34 convictions in jail by 2025.’ What happened next? Well, turns out, women weren’t actually that keen on Kamala – and Trump will be spending 2025 ensconced in the White House instead…
Rory Stewart
The man they call ‘Florence of Belgravia’ had an absolutely shocking election. He bullishly predicted that ‘Kamala Harris will win comfortably because Biden’s admin has been solid’, even boasting that ‘I have bet the maximum I was allowed to bet’. In the run-up to the election, he scorned voices that urged caution, sneering ‘Journalists would like the US race to seem as close as possible – it suits their appetite for suspense’.
So when it came to election night viewing, there was only one place to go. A baffled Stewart stumbled through his Rest is Politics podcast, before mournfully tweeting ‘For the record – I was completely wrong about Kamala Harris.’ You don’t say. He then added ‘It is heartbreaking that Trump is now the President’ – a statement which, again, is not correct, given that Trump will not take up the White House until January. Steerpike would encourage Rory to look at what he said before the election:
Obviously if I’ve totally miscalled this it’s would be a massive lesson in humility. And would suggest my whole framework is cracked.
Guess we have our answer now then.
Alastair Campbell
At least Stewart can take comfort from the fact that he was not the only podcaster to call the election wrong. Step forward Alastair Campbell – the Laurel to Rory’s Hardy. In the 48 hours leading up to the results, he declared that ‘Trump is losing and he knows it’, insisting that graphs which (correctly) showed Pennsylvania on course for a Republican victory were nothing more than an attempt to active the ‘stop the steal… even earlier than the last time he lost.’
A day before the election he boasted in the New European ‘I think Trump will lose but I know he won’t concede’ before spending election night being bemused and baffled beside Stewart in the studio. It would take a heart of stone…
Labour staffers
Back in August, when Kamalamania was hitting its height, a crack team of battle-hardened Labour veterans were deployed to the Democratic National Convention. They were there to give Labour’s sister party the benefit of their hard-won expertise, forged on the frontline of British politics. Among the party included Morgan McSweeney and Matthew Doyle – two of Keir Starmer’s most loyal lieutenants. It prompted headlines like ‘Can Britain’s Labour Party teach Kamala Harris how to win?’ with Labour MP Mike Tapp intoning gravely about what he could teach the Dems.
Fresh from losing his seat the previous month, Jon Ashworth popped up again as the new head of Labour Together, telling Politico how Democrat operatives are ‘interested in how we made the arguments [on border security], because they intend to make the same arguments as well.’ How did that work out then?
Fast forward two months and the Labour party was plunged into a transatlantic row over election interference after a LinkedIn post was circulated boasting of 100 staffers being put up in key swing states. Great way to boost the ‘special relationship’ guys…
Sadiq Khan
The man who has never met a camera he didn’t like was quick to rush out a statement this morning. Khan declared that ‘many Londoners will be anxious about the outcome… fearful about what it will mean for democracy and for women’s rights… the lesson of today is that progress is not inevitable.’ Well quite – as three terms of Sadiq neatly shows. Khan went on to claim that the result shows how:
Asserting our progressive values is more important than ever – re-committing to building a world where racism and hatred is rejected, the fundamental rights of women and girls are upheld, and where we continue to tackle the crisis of climate change head on.
Anything to talk about something other than London.
Jeremy Corbyn
The magic grandpa never misses. The superannuated socialist took to Twitter early this morning to proclaim that Trump’s election ‘is a dark day for reproductive healthcare, the rights of refugees and the future of our planet… We are a global movement, made up of all faiths and backgrounds, united in our opposition to racism and hatred.’ Just one that doesn’t include a majority of Americans eh?
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