Spectator competition: New Year haikus (plus: a poem about the bedroom tax)

Your New Year challenge was to submit a poem composed of three haikus that looks forward to the year ahead. The traditional Japanese haiku contains 17 syllables in three unrhymed lines of five, seven and five syllables (though these rules are not always observed by western poets). It is neatly summed up here by the late Stanley J. Sharpless:

This is a haiku. Five syllables, then seven. Then five more. Got it?

The winners below take £17 apiece. Hats off to Max Ross for injecting a sliver of optimism into the almost all-encompassing gloom of the winning line-up. And Happy New Year to you all!

Alan Millard Ukip wins more seats. Nation takes to drinking beer And falling asleep.

Britain becomes known As Europe’s sleeping partner. New PM fights back.

‘Ukip if you want,’ Says Premier, ‘the PM Is not for kipping!’

Chris O’Carroll Another Royal Baby — Harry and Andrew Further from the throne.

Tortured genius played By Benedict Cumberbatch Wins for Best Actor.

Egyptian goddess, Mother of Horus, look who Goes by your name now.

J. Seery Fijians will say, ‘Stonehenge was stolen from us. Return it now, please.’

Turner prize winner Throws invisible discus. Amazing acclaim.

Much too far fetched? January after next Is the time to say.

Bill Greenwell Looking forward to seeing the swingometer going haywire on

poll-day, as the new Rosencrantz and Guildenstern bloody the noses

of Conservatives, Labour, and bring about the final LibDemise.

Basil Ransome-Davies In twenty-fifteen whole populations go mad and bay at the moon.

Grim days of Nada mean the booze has run out at the Last Chance Saloon.

Words exhaust themselves Pandora’s box is empty Apocalypse soon.

D.A. Prince Cold spring of stasis: point-scoring politics — but new royal infant

Class wars get bloody: Eton crushed at battle of White Van v. Prius

Six per cent turnout, and after the election? Emigrate? — but where?

David Silverman Ne’er cast a Clegg out Nor send a Cameron packing Before May is out.

What a farrago! So Ukip if you want to. I’m not for kipping.

Such a close-run thing. There’s scarcely a Miliband To separate them.

Max Ross Time to leave the old, Forget what was not to be, And welcome new ways.

Next year I’ll be bold, Inspired by all that I see In untasted days.

Perhaps I’ll be told That Fortune has favoured me With a winning phrase.

Mike Morrison Farage takes the reins — Beer and cigarettes half-price: What a splendid chap.

HS2 is axed, Cowell gets a proper job; MPs tell the truth.

Value-added tax Cut to three-point-five per cent; Oh look, flying pigs!

Carol Ann Duffy wrote a poem entitled ‘22 Reasons for the Bedroom Tax’. Your next challenge is to submit an amusing poem about a piece of government legislation. Please email entries (16 lines maximum) to lucy@spectator.co.uk by midday on 14 January.