Competition 3399 called for a traditional bedtime story updated for the 21st century.We’re tight on space, so I’ll pause just to give a special mention to Ross Haggart before awarding the £25 vouchers to those below.
‘The sky is falling!’ cried Chicken-Licken. Ducky-Lucky, thinking this might be fake news, waddled off to do some fact-checking. But Henny-Penny had reliable information from Humpy-Trumpy and Q-Anonny on ticky-tocky that Crooked Hillary-Clillary, helped by five gee-gees all the way from China, was planning to bring down the sky, in order to distract from her other naughty conspiracies. Goosey-Loosey was very kind. She felt that Chicken-Licken needed help. ‘How are you really?’ she asked him a hundred times. She thought he was ‘catastrophising’ due to unresolved emotional issues and suggested to him a course of mindfulness and Ceeby-Teeby. Turkey-Lurkey blamed climate change (which Henny-Penny told him was a big porky pie). The King blamed the previous king for leaving them with a huge 22 million miles wide black hole, into which the sky was falling. Clever Holey-Moley said nothing but ran and dug for cover – just in time.
David Silverman
Once upon a time there were three little property developers, whose mother sent them out into the world to seek their fortune. The first little developer built his house with straw – but the Big Bad Council huffed, and it puffed, and it said that straw failed the fire safety regulations, so he went bust. The second little developer built his house from sticks – but the Big Bad Council huffed, and it puffed, and it prosecuted him for destroying a woodland habitat, so he went to prison. The third little developer built his house from nasty cheap bricks. While the Big Bad Council was huffing and puffing away, up rode the brave knight Sir Keir and said ‘No one votes Labour here – build what you like!’ So the third little developer built 100,000 brick houses in the greenbelt, became a millionaire Labour donor and lived very happily ever after.
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